January 2012
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thewhitestdevilyouknow:
Any time I hear someone complain about not being able to gain weight, I immediately begin thinking about dousing them in gasoline and setting them on fire.
Watchgpoy
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It’s only 11 and I already need a beer.
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toilet paper shit roll
Brother: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
Me: what?
Brother: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?
Me: what shit?
Brother: THAT SHIT ON MY PILLOW!
Me: huh?
10 seconds later...
Brother: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
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u g h
Where is my mind?: What happens if you fall in... →
karenfelloutofbedagain:
Lots of things might happen. That’s the thing about writers. They’re unpredictable. They might bring you eggs in bed for breakfast, or they might all but ignore you for days. They might bring you eggs in bed at three in the morning. Or they might wake you up for sex…
aliveinorlando:
When you and another car run a red light together, you sort of become best friends for a second.
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turkey bacon weirds me out.
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I fall in love with this city everytime.
even if it’s always for funerals.
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Miami, here we come.
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They have me laughing so hard I have a serious headache. good times.
